1 · 3 min
Leave the tracker outside
If the one-to-one is a status meeting with nicer coffee, cancel it and put the status in a note. The hour is for the thing they will not say in the standing meeting: the stalled decision, the person they cannot get to, the fear they are about to drop a plate.
Open with a question that is not “how is it going”. “What is getting in the way that I can move?” works. Then wait longer than feels polite.
Sizwe’s Fridays with his manager were a tour of Jira. He started saving the real problem for a colleague. When the manager banned trackers from the room, Sizwe said he was about to lose a drafter to a bank. They moved that week. The Jira had been a wall.
2 · 4 min
Two promises, written
End with one sentence they will do and one you will do, with dates. If you leave with vibes, you had a chat. Put it in the same thread every time so you can open next week with “did we”.
Do not collect ten actions. Two. If you need ten, you are back in status.
A warehouse lead left every one-to-one with a glowing feeling and no note. Nothing moved. A shared three-line log — date, their move, her move — made the third week useful.
3 · 3 min
Do not use it as a surprise inspection
If you have hard news, say you have hard news. Do not hide a performance ambush inside a “catch-up”. People learn to armour the slot. Then you will never hear the useful thing again.
An HRBP watched a plant manager use Friday one-to-ones to spring absenteeism numbers. Attendance improved for a fortnight. Candour died for a year.